The last building he passed before turning off of Jacobson was a Bed n' Breakfast. Jeffery paused at the red light and thought to himself how this sort of invention spoke directly to him and how it would fill the innermost instinctual needs of his person. After making note of it's location he continued home.
His headlights illuminated familiar pavement as he turned onto the final stretch. A straight path of freshly redone pavement whose beautiful filled middle line lit up the road in the sort of way that painted lines are usually incapable of doing. As he pulled into his driveway the Ford Taurus sputtered and squealed in what would seem like fear to what was waiting in front of the house. Jeffery ran himself perpendicular to the fear which sounded more like a slipping fan belt than any sort of worrisome warning and exited the vehicle with a clear head. Two squad cars sat in front of the house. The policemen and Jeffery exchanged a suspicious lack of heeding each other's presence and he made his way up to the front door. His lackluster pass-by of the police without a word being a direct result of the lust burning inside him to read whatever was important enough to crumple into his pocket and their unmistakable ignorance to his existence within the same city block being a direct result of the four cops commenting to each other on the surprising amount of coloured paper lying in the gutter next to the house which held a striking resemblance to numerous tickets each of them had issued in the past.
Jeffery entered the house and stepped directly into the kitchen. His mother, surprised to see him, turned to look upon her offspring and gave him one of her biggest smiles. He shrugged it off, it was the kind of smile that only mother's were capable of, and only mother's understood when they saw each other staring off into the distance thinking of their children.
"Mom, What did you do with those pants I was wearing earlier?"
She put her hands on her hips, the oven mitts covering them made this gesture even less menacing than it already was,
"Jeffery dear, I haven't gotten them ready yet, they just finished in the wash and I have yet to dry them. You can't wear them again till morning."
"No mom, there was something in them I needed."
"Have you seen those lovely gentlemen out on the front lawn? I was about to bring them rice krispies squares."
"Mom, did you find a piece of paper in one of the pockets? It would have been crumpled." His tone was clearly more desperate than he would've liked to have let off.
"That reminds me, I need you to help me with the computer, I want to invite some of my friends to a daffodil showing this weekend. The silly printer never seems to work when I do it."
Jeffery's mother was well known for her prized daffodils and even more known for her afternoon showings, everyone who was anyone would show up to them. He didn't have time for this, he knew it could go on for hours and he still wouldn't get a useful response. He started down the stairs and her voice was slowly drowned out by the increasing distance between them. When he got to the laundry room he heard the front door close as she no doubt left to distribute her baking and invite the officers to her showing. A pile of crumpled papers sat next to the washing machine. He began to sort through them.
Jeffery's mother was outside feeding the police.
"Such strong men, and don't you all look so dashing in your matching uniforms. I bet you all develop quite an appetite working so hard. Here, have these, their my Jeffiekins' favorite."
"Much obliged ma'am," the policemen had finally been disturbed from their parking ticket trance.
"Be wary of the daffodils, please, did you stop by to take a peek? I'm having a showing this weekend you know."
"No ma'am we are actually here on official business. We are waiting for your son to come home so we can ask him a few questions."
"Well you sillies, Jeffery is inside right now, that's his car there in the driveway."
The policemen, a little taken aback from their inability to do their job and now being out maneuvered by an elderly women each sort of jitter-stepped before coming to their senses.
"Ma'am, we are going to need you to step across the street and wait there until we tell you."
"Over to Lisa's petunias? Oh I have been meaning to step over there and see them, I suggested a new soil for this year and can't wait to find out how it's been working." She spoke to no one as she was already heading over to her neighbor's garden. One of the officer's pulled out a megaphone and began speaking towards the house.
Gum wrapper, 7-11 receipt, gum wrapper, old unused kleenex, none of this was what Jeffery was looking for. A booming voice came down the stairs which felt like it rumbled the foundations of the house.
"We know you are in there. Come out with your hands up. You are wanted for questioning." The voice's lack of descriptive words sort of irked Jeffery but his quest was not yet completed. He opened the machine and saw his jeans stuck to the side. Quickly rifling through the front pockets, he discovered it. It fell to pieces in his hands.
"Questions pertaining to the whereabouts of Detective Clark Wesson," the voice continued.
Jeffery was now in a pinch, he had no idea where the detective was, his one lead now resembled simple pocket lint under his fingernails and he hadn't had sex all day long. He needed to make a serious decision, would he go out and confront the police who would no doubt incarcerate him for at least the remainder of the night, or attempt a high risk escape out the back alley and leave his precious Taurus behind?
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