Chapter 1

     A classy glass bowl filled with a not so classy two hundred grams of Froot Loops began to pour over the rim as too much milk was added. The white liquid seeping into and under the saucers and plates strategically placed beside the bowl, causing them to fasten tightly to the sturdy oak table and would surely stick if not removed and wiped clean soon. The items placed in and on the saucers, plates, and bowl all residing from the same classy set surely when combined would make the legendary balanced breakfast. A female voice uttered three syllables but these were lost the moment they entered the only other set of eardrums within the room, the cerebral cortex attached to them preoccupied with the thought of God’s inevitably terrific laser surely coming to destroy the myth of a perfectly balanced breakfast. Oh my, Jeffery thought to himself, he was thinking about cereal again. This could only mean one thing; he had just had sex. Now the superimposed vision of the day’s most imperative meal had disappeared leaving nothing but the disgusting off-white popcorn stucco ceiling behind. Jeffery had a tough time trying to fathom why on earth people would do this to their ceilings, and began to wonder why he was seeing this girl in the first place. He rolled off his back to look at his girlfriend for a moment. She queried something along the lines of wondering if he had heard her. His mind was filled with too many thoughts to listen to her. First, this was the first time he had noticed the ceiling of her apartment. This was after all, the first time they had made love. He coughed at the thought, sure, made love, love so passionate it could only conjure visions of Froot Loops in his head. He definitely had had better; once again his mind wondered, thinking back two years when he lay looking at a smooth pewter colored ceiling with thoughts of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in fine china. There was a seven eleven only a few blocks away which would sure carry camping-size single dose packages of dry cereal.
   
     He rolled once again and got up out of the bed, his mind fixated on getting his breakfast. Left his boxers on the floor and slid his jeans up over his waist, not bothering to tighten the belt. Next he grasped his leather coat off of the rolling computer chair and zipped it up, not feeling any need for a shirt in this situation. Before he knew it he was out the door and hadn’t said a word to the girl lying confused in the bed. Little to his knowledge, the moment ago in which the two lay in bed together was actually much more climactic than he thought, and as he entered the elevator and pressed the lobby button the three syllables he had initially pushed aside as something silly such as ‘I love you’ came back to him. The words she had whispered silently into his dead ear canals were ‘It’s over.’ She had just ended the relationship and all he responded with was a look, a roll, and an exit. Dammit, and he was usually such a good listener too.  The thoughts of artificially colored rings had single-handedly been the source of him losing a few vital items of his wardrobe. This once again reminding him that sex ruins every relationship.
   
     He stepped out of the apartment building barefoot and tried to think of the why’s and but’s of the break up. He couldn’t concentrate, he needed 2% milk and he needed it bad. As he approached his car he noticed an all too familiar sheet of paper blowing in the wind, softly licking the air around his windshield as if to mock him. He snatched it out and crumbled it into his pocket, yet another parking ticket for his collection.